The Smart Person’s Guide to Public Bathroom Ettiquette
by, Skyler Gailing
We spend our lives being taught by those older than us to keep our bathroom lives private. We wear underwear underneath our clothing to cover ourselves, and our parents scold us when we are younger when we pull down our pants in public because we do not know any better. And yet, we truly discover the mystery of public bathrooms when we are sent to grade school. We have to figure out the most difficult part on our own, however: proper public bathroom etiquette.
It is an unspoken code, but one vital to our society. Without this odd set of manners, we would be cast off from the public and would never be able to relieve our bladders on long car rides ever again. We are judged harshly if we overstep the “normal” boundaries (how dare you want to socialize with someone whilst using the restroom!). However, boundaries do differ between the genders. We shall go over the basic ones for both. The bathroom is a private place that has now been made quite public, and everyone should know how to deal with it.
When you find yourself needing to “go,” it is an expected standard to bring at least two of your friends with you. It is always nice to have some support with you just in case you take a while, need to cry, see an enemy, or have an unexpected visit from Mother Nature. Also, if you have a little trouble with your shy bladder, your partners-in-crime can talk loudly enough to each other to give you some cover.
An awkward scenario occurs when you are in the bathroom during class, without a chance to bring your friends, and your mortal enemy has had the same idea. As you are forced to wash your hands side-by-side, you should make polite eye contact with a reasonably pleasant “hello”. The bathroom is not a time for feuds; it is a time for a relaxed release of toxins. Even if she glares at you as you exit your stall, remain the better person as you strut confidently past her and to the sink. She will be jealous of your confidence, even in a public bathroom, so you would even have won your silent, somewhat unknown competition for the day without really trying.
3. You Run Out of Toilet Paper
Otherwise known as the “Can You Spare a Square” Complex. This is especially difficult for women, seeing as no matter what they do in the bathroom, they need toilet paper. There is the sit-in-the-bathroom-hoping-that-if-you-wait-long-enough-you-won’t-need-toilet-paper method. This is, however, a time-waster of a plan and not the cleanest route through which to go. There is also the reach-under-the-stall-next-to-you-and-grasp-at-the-toilet-paper-holder method, but there is no way to tell what you are grabbing. The optimal method, though, is to be social and ask your neighbor in the next stall over for some toilet paper. Nobody should be caught unawares when it comes to toilet paper supply, so it is safe to say that anyone would help. You just have to get over the social awkwardness, and you will have toilet paper in no time!
4. When Mother Nature “Calls”
Let’s be honest, this is one of the most uncomfortable and horrific moments any female can face. You get hit unexpectedly with the Red Devil and are caught completely unprepared. You need a feminine hygiene product, and fast. Fortunately, however, the women’s public bathroom is a place of sisterhood. Everyone in that bathroom dreads this exact situation. Everyone gets it! Other girls, yes, even enemies and strangers, will have your back in this scenario, so you do not need to fear!
In short, being in the girls’ room is about unity whilst being in the uncomfortable position of using a public restroom.
For some odd reason, this majestic creature of plumbing was created for those males who decide that privacy can just be tossed to the wind. The mysterious urinal, however, entails great responsibility. And with great responsibility comes many rules. To begin with, a rule that should be obvious: If there are several urinals, and someone is already occupying one of them, do not go to the urinal directly next to him! Please use some common sense. It has also been said that flushing the urinal is a very important final step that is often forgotten. So please, flush your urinals.
2. Using Public Bathrooms is Not the Start of Social Hour
Another thing, talking to the guy at the urinal next to you is frowned upon. In fact, it has been said by some male sources that talking at all in the boys’ bathroom is not the best idea.
3. Eye Contact is Just a Bad Idea
Any eye contact is a big “don’t”. As you can see, using a urinal is pretty much the opposite of going to the girls’ room. Whatever you do, do not look over. That is just a bad idea.
4. Not All Males Wash Their Hands
It has been said by undisclosed sources that apparently men only wash their hands when there is another man present, so as not to be embarrassed due to their lack of cleanliness. In this particular situation, peer pressure can save others from illness (and disgustingness).
In conclusion, having the ability to use a public bathroom is a necessity, as it is a setting that will be frequently visited during the course of your life. In our society, it is also important to know the etiquette that goes along with using this convenient source of relief. We must have regulations when it comes to using the restroom publicly, and these rules help us get past the fact that we are doing our private business in a very public manner. And remember; always wash your hands before you leave.
i’m not very good at small talk, i want 2 talk about dying and aliens and sex and meaning and the sky i am terrible at asking about school and weather
Anonymous asked: did he say it to you yet? :)
no.. but i think he feels it (or something like it). thanks for checking in (: